Thank you

I am a plate of uncooked beans.
Unsorted and just kind of milling about on a dry, smooth surface; a mixture of different shapes and sizes, made up of unnameable emotions. From minute to minute, I feel something new -- a pure joyful, territorial high to a deep, deep ennui to mostly a combination of both, swirling around aimlessly,  like how a hand might push and gather and push a variety of beans on a wooden plate just to feel their different textures or to listen to the sound they make together and apart.

Need to sort out what I am feeling 

Jabiz has been able to eloquently write about this missing.  I feel that too and echo his sentiment -- that there is this hollowness inside of us from being so far away from you girls (and Jason and Jen and Kenya) so soon after meeting.

 Melodramatic, I know but like I said -- plate of beans.

I have been writing and writing and writing in my journal -- snippets here, a sound bite there,  the description of a long Daraja hug here and the effects of Rahab's song or Edith's poem there -- grasping at each moment and memory, wanting to forever document and capture our experience with you and Kenya and with each other.

You are such a huge part of what I've been able to hold and want to write longer about around my hand.  There's so much to say.  Where do I begin?  How do I tell this story? What tattoo will symbolize it?

In the end (or is it this finally the beginning?), what's clearest to me is just how grateful I feel.

I am grateful for this --

Our last walk up the ridge - Wow

And for you -  our Daraja  families...

And for this group of lucky ducks -- #pioneer

And you, my friend -- for all your dreams and letting us be part of it.  It's been an honor.
Thank you.

My heart is about to burst into a thousand cranes so for now, I will keep some of these unnameable stuff  in this blue trunk.

 Or else, #chilloutmiamiga

Let us know how you are doing?  What you are feeling?   Don't worry about the exams -- you guys have it in the bag. We believe in you. We are proud of you.

I am a plate of beans.